Have I been writing?

Have I been writing?
no
Is this true? Absolutely not! but it is my first answer. Why? If I told anyone who knows me well that I haven't been writing they would disagree with me right away. They would say, "What do you mean you aren't writing?", and would be probably wave there hands up in frustration as they said it. They would continue with, "you have been writing regularly in your blogs, your journals, your e-mails, and who knows what else but you say you aren't writing! why on earth would you say something as ridiculous as that?"
"Because I am not", would be my quick answer but the truth is sometimes I feel like I am not. Is this true? no, it comes from my lack of confidence, faith in my self, and lack of knowledge in what I really want. It comes from resistance, and the idea that in order to be happy I need to be working on my book, which I haven't been but why?
Without thinking about it I would say that it is a writers block or I have have been procrastinating because of fear of the unknown, critisism, self expression, self awareness etc but all of that is bull.
It is because I don't have clear next actions set, I don't have structures in place to make working on my book automatic as I do for my blogs, journals, e-mails etc so it is time. Ballard (my main character in my current novel) is being added to my !daily list. The goal will be to write at least 1 sentence about Ballard or about his activity.

How to Procrastinate through Writing

A friend of mine commented on my writing the other day. She said that I don't have any resistance to writing. Wow, no resistance to writing, I wish that were true. Writing for me is the hardest thing to do, I never write, I have been working on a book for several years and have barely scratched a dent in it, in fact my progress consists of a file drawer full of notebooks filled with scrawl; most of which has nothing to do with the book.

I queried my friend about why she would make a comment like that and she pointed out that I write regularly to my blog, I write long forum posts and responses on the forums I post to, and I write well. Wow, maybe I don't have as much resistance to writing after all.

Another friend of mine told me how Stephen King get's over his writer's block (I don't know how true this is but I think it is a cool story). My friend explained that Stephen King, when asked about how he deals with resistance to writing explained that he writes two books at a time. The interviewer thought this was King saying that he not only isn't affected by writers block, he can handle two books at once which most author's couldn't. When the interviewer confronted King with this idea, King explained that yes, he writes two books:

One book that he wants to write, and one book that he writes when he doesn't want to write the book he wants to write.

The blogs and posts have been like this for me. I enjoy writing to them and they have created value for me, I still have the novel in the background that I do want to finish someday but I am creating value in the meantime and I am grateful for that. My novel, instead of creating stress for me is creating creative energy that Iam funneling into other projects.