Have I been writing?

Have I been writing?
no
Is this true? Absolutely not! but it is my first answer. Why? If I told anyone who knows me well that I haven't been writing they would disagree with me right away. They would say, "What do you mean you aren't writing?", and would be probably wave there hands up in frustration as they said it. They would continue with, "you have been writing regularly in your blogs, your journals, your e-mails, and who knows what else but you say you aren't writing! why on earth would you say something as ridiculous as that?"
"Because I am not", would be my quick answer but the truth is sometimes I feel like I am not. Is this true? no, it comes from my lack of confidence, faith in my self, and lack of knowledge in what I really want. It comes from resistance, and the idea that in order to be happy I need to be working on my book, which I haven't been but why?
Without thinking about it I would say that it is a writers block or I have have been procrastinating because of fear of the unknown, critisism, self expression, self awareness etc but all of that is bull.
It is because I don't have clear next actions set, I don't have structures in place to make working on my book automatic as I do for my blogs, journals, e-mails etc so it is time. Ballard (my main character in my current novel) is being added to my !daily list. The goal will be to write at least 1 sentence about Ballard or about his activity.